Author Archives: Bob

Imran Naseem – The Great Pretender Returns

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*Update 22 February, 2012 – Imran has now filed a fake RipOff Report about my company. He has now stepped into libel territory and I will seek legal advice against his lies which can cause my company damages. He is lying with malicious intent about using my services. UK Libel law has a section which covers this.

Hi kids, does anyone remember Imran Naseem aka Imran Hanif? Someone who I have quite frequently blogged about in the past on my blog.

It had been quiet since October 31st, 2010 (yes, nearly a year and a half!) and I had pretty much forgotten all about Imran. Hell, I had nearly forgotten I had this blog! Figured Imran might have grown up a bit and realize that people might have been complaining about him and the rubbish products he peddles for a reason. He was no longer selling stuff under his own name on his favorite hangouts like the Warrior Forums and DigitalPoint since he got banned. I think he’s been hiding under a rock all this time, waiting for the shit storm that went over the Internet about him to pass.

Anyway, fast forward 16 months later, to January 16th, 2012 – 03:00 AM, I forgot to turn off my cellphone and it starts ringing. Barely registering it in my sleep, I pick up the phone after a blocked number tried to ring me three times in a row. On the other end of the line I hear someone with a British accent mumbling, asking me if I was Bob Jones. Naturally I acknowledge the caller’s question, and the next thing I hear is someone getting excited like a kid in a candy store, telling me how me and my company are going to get sued. As you might recall, Imran likes threatening people with lawsuits
1+1=2 and I figured it must have been Imran Naseem himself, calling me from his iphone. I had a chuckle and told him that I didn’t have time for him and hung up. Phone turned off and back to a peaceful night of sleep.

The next morning I go and have a look at how I got onto Imran’s radar again. According to my logfiles, he Googled his own name and must have seen one of the old posts I wrote about him – I’ve been ranking for a variety of his names on Google’s first page ever-since I started writing about Imran Naseem. He lingered 15 minutes on my site, rereading some the posts and comments, without a doubt getting annoyed that these are the kinds of posts and comments he doesn’t want to get found when someone Googles for Imran Naseem or Imran Hanif. Right next to the articles he read, my twitter feed shows up, in which I publicly promote my SEO Company.

In fact, perhaps Imran could hire me because he’s been looking for someone on Freelancer.com to do SEO and get all the negative posts and comments about him removed from Google’s front page. One of his usernames is oxide987. Kind of ironic to see how he sells Google News frontpage services for $5

He’s also still scamming people on Freelancer.com too by the way. Getting people to work for him and then not paying them.

Funny side-note, Imran’s customers stopped buying Imran Naseem Products after they do some Google searching on his name for reviews etc. Here’s an email from one of the people on his email list in which I got BCC’ed for example:

Imran must have clicked on the link and found my business site, which has my public business phone number listed in large, bright-yellow letters so everyone can see on what number they can reach me.
Nevertheless, Imran seems to be extremely proud of his achievement – finding my publicly listed contact details online, after a year and a half. Someone should award him a medal.

He tried calling me with a blocked number (how brave) over the next two days (and nights). I hardly ever pick up blocked calls, and at night I turn my phone off, so whatever effect he thinks his attempts to call me are having – they’re not. I just laugh thinking about how frustrated he must be on the other side of the line, talking into my voicemail constantly.

My phone carrier will actually convert voice-mails into text messages, but because of Imran’s poor articulation and pronunciation, the phone operators can’t understand a word he’s saying, and I keep getting messages like this:

What surprises me is that I still get his attention even though he seems to be very busy online.

I wonder if his parents know what a naughty boy Imran Naseem really is – seeing he still lives at home with his Mum. And why IS he still living at home? Shouldn’t a successful Internet Marketer such as Imran Naseem live in a multi million dollar house, instead of a house with an current average value of £56,618, which isn’t even his own?

I know he’s using a the following addresses on his aweber lists (80 Chapel House Road Nelson, S BB9 9DL and 40 Walverden Road,, Nelson, Lancashire BB9 0PH) but looking at these photos he posted on Facebook, I think that this is his real address. I think I’ve even got his car and house in the same photo here.

I could probably go on for another 1001 words, but I have a life and got stuff to do. There are more places where you can find contact details for Imran Naseem

One thing that puzzles me is why all over sudden he decided to contact me again. Did he really think I wasn’t going to blog about him again after trying to scare me with yet empty promises of lawsuits and “full investigations”? The posts I wrote about him in the past have long since moved away from the frontpage – yet now he’s throwing new fuel on his own fire. This post will likely stay on the frontpage for a long time to come, seeing I hardly ever update this blog anymore. Thumbs up for you Imran!

Old = Expensive. Especially cars.

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So this morning I was driving my 1978 Merc Coupe to the office, when my fuel cage suddenly dropped to 0, and I ended up pushing the car to the side of the road. Ok, no big deal, I have a 5l jerrycan for situations just like this. Unfortunately, I forgot to fill it up after I took out the petrol for the lawnmower last week!

Ah well, got a lift to the nearest petrol station, got my jerrycan filled up, and drove to the petrol station again to fill up the car. While I was there, I figured it’d be a good idea to pump up the tires, and top up the engine oil. So I spend $120 on petrol, $50 on engine oil, and a fiver for a can of red bull (yes, terrible idea for breakfast, I know!)

After pouring the engine oil in, I went ahead and tried to close the bonnet, when I heard a SNAP! somewhere – crap. So now, my bonnet somehow leans to the right hand side, and wont close properly anymore. Had to drive it to the nearest garage going 30k/h on a 70k road, because all I had was a shoestring to hold the bonnet down! Figured I might as well let them do a service on the car, seeing it hasn’t had one in a few years now.

I have the feeling I’d better bring in an extra credit card when I go pick it up…

Russian Robber Turns Sex Slave in Russia – Again?

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I don’t know why, but it looks like some newspapers are really struggling to get new material, so they rehash old stories, which were probably never real in the first place.

Whatever happened to the Principles of journalism?

Democracy depends on citizens having reliable, accurate facts put in a meaningful context. Journalism does not pursue truth in an absolute or philosophical sense, but it can–and must–pursue it in a practical sense. This “journalistic truth” is a process that begins with the professional discipline of assembling and verifying facts. Then journalists try to convey a fair and reliable account of their meaning, valid for now, subject to further investigation. Journalists should be as transparent as possible about sources and methods so audiences can make their own assessment of the information. Even in a world of expanding voices, accuracy is the foundation upon which everything else is built–context, interpretation, comment, criticism, analysis and debate. The truth, over time, emerges from this forum. As citizens encounter an ever greater flow of data, they have more need–not less–for identifiable sources dedicated to verifying that information and putting it in context.

This is the oldest copy (15 April 2009) I found of the Russian Robber story, who became a tied-up, viagra fed, sex slave to a martial arts hairdresser in Moscow. Link.

*Edit Looks like I wasn’t the only one who noticed this.

Gmail created a special feature just for me.

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When Gmail first became available in April 2004, I was one of the first people to sign up for an account. Little did I know that picking bobjones@gmail.com would mean that I’d be getting thousands of emails from all over the world, all accidentally addressed to the wrong Bob Jones. I even started a fun site to publish those wrongly addressed emails, but I let it expire :(

I shouldn’t have to tell you that this has pretty much rendered the email address useless, because it’s impossible to go through all the wrong emails and spam. On the upside, I do get loads of pre-paid porn site logins from people signing up for these services, and using my email address :D

Here’s a picture of my current inbox. I think I completely trashed the whole thing at the beginning of the year.

It looks like Google has developed a new feature especially for me. http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/dont-forget-bob-and-got-wrong-bob.html Let’s see if this will really work, and cut down my inbox traffic. Thanks Google!

Can you switch between Google gmail accounts? Yes.

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Just sharing a quick tip I only discovered recently. I like organizing my stuff, so for example, every product site I have, has multiple email addresses. Think support@ sales@ billing@ etc.

Because I run all my email via Google Apps, I always had to logout, login, logout, login, logout, swear, login, logout, swear some more, login. A pain in the ass if you’re trying to juggle between the lot of them.

So, Google actually lets you sign into three different Google mail accounts at the same time, in the same browser. This is SO awesome. (well, I think it is anyway – saves me heaps of swearing time).

Go here and be enlightened from now on. https://www.google.com/accounts/b/0/MultipleSessions